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Tree planting dictionary

a glossary of treeplanting terms for non-planters

Throughout Create Forest, there are many terms and slang that are used exclusively by tree planters. If one would like to clarify the nature of these terms, the following list provides a helpful guide.

Bag Up: The placing of trees in the bag, aka primetime for dogfucking (see below).

Bag Out: also: 1) When the final tree is planted and the bags of the planter are empty.  2) sexual. you get it.

Beaver Fever: this one is quite self-explanatory, however I do feel I should clarify: a form of diarrhea or illness concerning the stomach derived from camp water that is pulled from local lakes or water-holes (aka swamps) that have been oversaturated with beaver feces, which permeates the water supply.

The Block: n. m. A given geographical area where land must be planted.  Usually they are given names such as "Waba South", "Jungfrau", "Woodcock" or "Supawn".  They include a hectarage and varying tree species, densities, etc... 

Cream, Butter, Gravy, Farmer's Fields, Beaches, Spongeboard: various, slang  Forms of land that are favourable for planting a high quantity of trees.  syn. Good Land.

Boat Races: (plural, n.f.) They do not involve any actual boats.  Boat races are one of many drinking games that colour the camp life. 

Brackies:  A form of scarification typically tufts of exposed mineral soil, like polka dots all across a piece of land, when a planter plants it fast it is known as "bunnyhopping".

Bundles: Are the small groupings of trees that planters must traditionally unwrap and place in their bags.  They vary from 4 to 40 per bundle. 

Bitch Bundles: Refers to loose or forgotten bundles that must be planted for free by the planters due to negligence or subterfuge to the honour of planting.  "Bundle bashing" is a questionable form of bagging up, in which bundles are bashed, lightening the load on the planter yet also threatening the health of the tree.

The Cache (also: Cache Break, Cache Party): The cache is where the trees are kept, usually under a tarp.  On baller camps, the caches are usually dropped strategically in order to maximize efficiency.

Cattle Plant aka Cluster Fuck: Traditionally reserved for block close-outs; essentially a group plant where several individual planters are planting together.  This can be the downfall of a crew, or a time of great romance. (i.e. "I met my 1st husband in a Cluster Fuck, etc...)

Clag: The area of difficult-to-plant land between skidder tracks or corridors. 

Clearcut: A traditionally large swath of land cut "clear" of most or hopefully all trees.  The primary location of treeplanting.  Also a great place to tan, or be overwhelmingly depressed at the savage nature of man's destruction of the natural world. 

Dogfucking:  The act of not working, slacking off or loitering at one's "cache".  A dogfucker can sometimes be a legend, their dogfucking can be the stuff of literature, like a great Faulkner sub-character.  The many forms of dogfucking are multifarious and myriad forms of awesome. 

Duff: A mélange of improper soil (microsite) for a tree to be planted in.  Though in some areas (esp. BC).  Variants of duff include feather moss, 50-50, red rot and stumps.

Furroughs: A form of scarification. Usually straight, two parallel lines of exposed soil, that a skidder or scarifier have manicured for planting.

Gott: A brand name of a water cooler that became the name for water coolers in late 90's early 2000's Ontario planting camps.  One requires at least one Gott on hot days.

Highballer: A treeplanter who plants many trees.

(to) Hump: Carrying trees into one's land because it is otherwise inaccessible.

Keg Toss: (sport, game, n.) A game played during Night Off, which is simply a competition like shot putt, but instead of a putt, it's a keg.

Kife: Undesirable land.

KP Duty: Cleaning duty, which includes the shitters, mess tent, dishes and other menial chores that are all a wonderful honour and duty, and also a place for poets to find each other.  No one knows what the acronym refers to, though many have conjured a guess or two. 

Lowballer: A treeplanter who does not plant many trees.

Megaballer: A rare breed of planter who plants exorbitant amounts of trees without becoming a total slut.

Mid-to-Low-Baller: Synonymous with "social crew bosses", another breed of planter renown for their hijinks and jovial attitude concerning treeplanting.

Missed Spots: A sacreligious term designated for areas of plantable land that were omitted by the planter.  Returning to plant a missed spot is like missing an empty net on a breakaway, worthy of head-hanging shame. 

Quad: A four-wheeler or ATV.

Screef: The action of removing debris from land that is otherwise plantable.  (aka one of the most arduous parts of the job.)

Shit Tickets: Toilet paper.

Skidder: A large, tractor-like machine used to scarify land, amongst other useful purposes.  Its tracks are part of the topographical nomenclature that planters use to manage their land.

Slash: A term for the fallen trees, branches and logs left behind when the land was cut. Usually creating barriers around areas of land which are creamy; making the planter climb, crawl and maneuver through, over, under and around it to plant.

Slash pile: Leftover trees, branches and logs that have been gathered into a large pile. Usually found at the front of the piece, they can be up to 100 feet tall and wide.  

Slut: A planter who plants as many trees as possible, regardless of their quality, caring primarily that the amount of money they will make being maximal.

Special Mission:  Usually a dream come true; a special mission can vary but usually involves planters breaking off from their crews and disappearing for a while, heading somewhere even more remote and magical where they "take care of some trees".

Shnarb:  Similar to kife (see above), generally used to describe the undesirable parts of land; in lieu of slash, alders, bush, etc. (i.e. "man that piece was full of shnarb").

Sphagnum: A sacred, iridescent moss that black spruce and other trees grow in, when moist it also acts as a bidet, when dry it can make for a fine couch; as Derek Morley and Mike Simpson proved.

Stashing, Stasher: The act of throwing trees away, commonly done by digging a deep hole and burying trees; or otherwise hiding them in order to reap financial benefits or merely dispose of trees. Sister to the slut.

Treeline: The line where the real forest begins and the clearcut ends. A great place for bundle-tossing, masturbating, magical joint sessions, "finding nature", bear encounters, transcendence and pooping.

Trenchfoot: esp. military  A term indicating an ailment of the foot brought on by overexposure of the foot to moisture.  Symptoms include a wrinkling and discolouration of the foot.  It usually makes one's foot resemble Walter Mathau and walking becomes impossible. 

Code Z Land: A code for areas that are not on the map, therefore "off the grid" and are used for surplus planting, nebulous planting practices, and hardcore romance sessions.